Dead End

The long and winding road to Edinburgh 2011 has turned out to be a cul de sac. At this stage last year, things were still very much up in the air but I had many sponsorship irons in the fire. There were many variables, some known unknowns and even some unknown unknowns. But alas! This is not the case for Sarahtron 4million this time around. This year I was super organised, ahead of schedule and on top of my many proposals, synergies and begging letters. Which means, last year I had no idea what good fortune/dividends lay ahead. But this year, I know my goose is cooked. And it’s a pet goose, so it’s even more sad. Poor Jonathan Goose. My solo one-hour shows are off the beaten track. I am not based on or creatively inspired by any other comic. I don’t pick up the overflow of a sold out Ricky Gervais gig or the straggling late-comers to an already started Sarah Silverman performance. My new show, Immortal Combat, takes you on a surreal, sometimes creepy, always good-natured, multi-media journey through my thoughts on Immortality vs Legacy. This sort of comedy does not sell itself. I have consistently been met with either wide-eyed confusion or enthralled, engaged macabre-loving rapture. This means the walk up appeal to these shows can be less than others. I am careful not to sell or advertise my shows as something they are not. So if a Hen party of 20 drunken women/beasts roll up to a comedy club with two shows billed: One promising tales of debauchery and jokes about people from Lower Hutt OR some smug hot yoga enthusiast asking you to enter into a “Willing Suspension Of Disbelief” whilst speaking to you from the future, dancing to Kate Bush and singing about her dead Dad; I don’t see that $300 coming her way. The people who like and support my live shows do so with huge enthusiasm and massive encouragement. I am aware, however, that it is not everybody’s cup of tea. And that is absolutely fine. But I will not change what I like to do and how I like to write. I like my material. I have faith in it. But being different costs. Festivals are a struggle for all acts. I have heard of wonderful performers selling out their run at festivals and STILL losing money due to inflated venue hire, marketing costs, travel (especially if it is outside of NZ), accommodation and living expenses, registration fees and time away from the inescapable ‘day-job’. Edinburgh was to be my fourth festival for 2011. Adelaide Fringe was in March, Dunedin Fringe (where I won Best Comedy) again in March, NZ Comedy Festival in May; and then Edinburgh in August. That’s a new marketing run for each festival. Travel, accommodation, living expense etc. x 4 and we are only half way through the year. This is why sponsorship, Creative NZ funding and corporate support (thank you Mojo Coffee) are so integral to getting shows seen. The industry is filled with capable, talented and brilliant performers, but not necessarily the spending power of a public who can support them monetarily. Janet Jackson said “The best things in life are free.” Thanks for that, Janny (we are pretty good mates, I can get away with calling her that); A good laugh is free. A joke. That’s free. But getting your bloody show to a festival is not free. It costs, Janny. It costs money. And lots of it. It costs tears. And frustration. And self doubt. I have been cavalier in my comedy career since it was born just over three years ago, here, in Wellington. I have brought shows to every corner of NZ, to Australia and to the Daddy of all festivals, Edinburgh. But this year, after three wonderful, tearful and exhilarating festivals, I have run into a brick wall. And it hurts my face. I just can’t make Edinburgh work without sacrificing too much of later in the year. Time I have set aside for creating. Working on scripts, next years show, a book. Time that I would then have to spend temping in the Department of Labour paying off the four or five grand I could potentially lose by shutting my eyes and just boarding that plane to Edinburgh. I have made an executive decision. This Lion/Human hybrid will retire to the cave lick her wounds. This ‘lioman’ will come back stronger, safe in the knowledge that although she is missing the greatest festival on the planet, that although her award winning show will now not get it’s UK airing it deserves; she is not condemning herself to 8 months in admin to pay for one folly. I have done Edinburgh and it is wonderful. Am I disappointed to not be going this year? I am gutted. I am as gutted as Drew Barrymore when she was in the first Scream film and was hung from a tree, then actually gutted. But there comes a time when good sense must prevail. With a glossier mane and shinier teeth, I’ll be back.

This article is number 5 in a series of ten originally published on http://humorous.co.nz